Win or We’re Moving

Double car flags, y’all!

I haven’t informed my wife of this yet, but either Alabama beats Ohio State on January 1st or we are moving.

That is one option.

Another is that device from Men In Black that wipes my memory clean and I won’t be a fan any more.

I can’t just be a “normal” fan.

Nope.

Not Me.

I have to be two car flags, two decals, and a license plate frame on my car guy. I have to fill up my twitter feed and Facebook timeline with countless posts about how great Alabama football is. Which, to be fair, I warned you all about.

I’ve covered Ohio State tailgating on Saturdays in Columbus in full Alabama gear.

No, I just can’t support my alma mater with a subdued tone. I have to be in full on, in your face mode 24/7.

When running a quick errand to Kroger I will find at least a hat to put on with a script A on it. That’s right, I can’t do a lunch meat run without stinking up the grocery store with Crimson Tide farts for all to smell.

LOOK AT ME YOU BUCKEYE HEATHENS! FU and ROLL DAMN TIDE! Oh, and um, I’ll take a pound of honey ham sliced thin, please.

Honestly I have to say I wish I didn’t care. I know it’s ridiculous. I know in the end it means very little to anyone. I still have to go to work on Monday. There are still countless piles of dog crap in my backyard that need picked up.

I can only imagine how horrible life will be here in central Ohio if Alabama loses.

I hear Minneapolis is a nice place to live.

Roll Tide.